Golden Sun

I know I am not alone. I know that there are mothers out there who miss their children, to the extent that they will wake up in the middle of the night in panic. Was that a child’s cry? Did I leave a light on? Did I lock the door? Did I close the safety pins? Who are they with? What are they doing? Can they ever understand the precious gift that was given to me with their first breath?

I count myself among the fortunate that Lynn and Corey are but a short trip away from me. I can check on them at any time the mothering whim overtakes me – they are but a scant few miles away and I don’t have to calculate time zones!

Kelly is, on the other hand, in California. Passports away. Two hours-before check in at the airport. Almost a six hours flight. Finding baggage; traversing strange airports. American money. Leave your more than three ounces of toiletries at home. No scissors or sharp objects. Forget about cutting your nails while you are way. No more than one lighter per person. Take off your shoes; leave jewellery at home; is that change in your pocket? What are you wearing a studded belt?

A trip into Berkeley from SFO where you have to read a strange map with coloured lines and wonder whether you are heading in the right direction. Am I going towards her, or am I not?

Kelly is coming home for a few weeks. We talk today, with me negotiating whether or not I am *allowed* to meet her at the airport. Or is it Todd’s turn? The last time she came home, I went to the getting her with Todd and I don’t think he will ever be the same – there is something about your girlfriend’s mother embarrassing you at the airport. Is that her? Are you from a plane in San Francisco (I say to complete strangers de-planeing from Washington)? Why is it taking so long; check the board again; shouldn't she be here by now? I am singing through the airport “the Berkeley Babe is coming home!!!”. “My baby is coming home!!!”. Todd is looking everywhere but at me. But he is smiling inside because he is just as excited as me; he just isn’t as crazy.

Of course, now she says “you will have to take it up with Todd”. Cute, imagine the conversation that will be?! She says I won’t be able to stay up until midnight when her flight comes in anyway because I’m usually in bed at night. (Helloooo, I am writing this at nine o’clock!). I suggest that Todd will get the pickup pleasure; I must be there on the leaving.

I’m laying down the mommy card.

I relate the conversation with Jim. He understands; after years of knowing me, all he can do is start singing:

I left my heart in San Francisco

High on a hill, it calls to me
To be where little cable cars

climb halfway to the stars

The morning fog may chill the air,

I don't care

My love waits there in San Francisco

Above the blue and windy sea

When I come home to you, San Francisco

Your golden sun will shine for me

And So...Hello, Golden Sun. How many more sleeps till you come home?