Living with a Two Year Old – Always an Emergency!

It is early on a Monday morning. Corey has gone off to work and Natasha is trying to cope with the whirlwind of activity that accompanies life with an almost-two-year-old. In the near distance, she hears Ayden playing with the telephone, a favourite activity of his as he pretends he is talking to his aunties in Trinidad, or his new best friend, Grandpa, or indeed Elmo.

Just then Natasha hears Ayden calling “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom” (he always calls her name over and over again until he is satisfied he has her full attention!). He hands Natasha the phone and she thinks he wants her to play along with the fantasy. HOWEVER, on the other end of the line is a 911 dispatcher!!!!!

Dispatcher: M’am, we have officers on the way. Is everything okay? Are you alone?
Natasha: (Thinking it was Corey playing a joke) Of course, I’m not alone, crazy person. I’m here with Ayden.
Dispatcher: Is everything okay? We have officers on the way M’am.
Natasha: (Realizing it’s no joke) My son must have dialled 911 by mistake!!! I’m so sorry; we’re fine.
Dispatcher: We have officers on the way, M’am.

Just then, there is a knock at the door and there are three officers standing there, no doubt in ready-stance with hands just hovering over their gun belt. Natasha tries to explain that it was her child who called 911 by mistake while he was playing with the phone. She is beyond embarrassed.

Officers are trained not to accept a bald assertion that everything is okay just because you say it is. An intruder could be holding you at gunpoint and telling you that your life is over if you admit his presence. He could be in the cupboard or the washroom, listening.

So they ask her who she is. Who is the child; is the child hers? Show us birth certificates. Let us check all the rooms.

The officers attempt to ask Ayden if he was the one who make the call (as she’s telling me the story, I’m thinking they likely don’t have, or don’t remember life talking to, a two year old). He says no, no, no, no (he never says that word once either). He says mom, mom, mom, mom (not really blaming it on mom, but one of the words he likes to say often).

The female officer finally asks Natasha how old Ayden is. She tells her “twenty-one months”. “Oh, that explains it”, says the officer smiling.

They take their exit. Emergency over. Family safe.

Natasha phones Corey to relate the latest events in life-with-a-two-year-old. Corey howls with laughter.

She calls me. Jim and I howl with laughter.

Jim goes to his volunteer gig at the jail. He tells all of the “residents” (jail euphemism for “inmates”) about how his grandson was wearing prison-issue orange colours when he visited us on Sunday and then about the 911 mishap. They howl with laughter.




Of course, Ayden is oblivious to all of the chaos he has caused his momma. Like this little guy, what he wants to know is “can I have the phone back?”

Emergency over. Ayden once again entertains from his two-year-old stage of life to an audience howling with laughter.