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This post is mine to share. To give you context, we took Molly to see her foster parents, Cathy and Paul, at their cottage (the "white house" in the story) on the southernmost shores of Ontario (they are Americans who own cottage property in Canada -- yeay!).
We hoped Molly would remember her "baby" Sweetie (if you read my previous posts, although I've not been able to figure out how to link them here, you will know that Molly was found in terminal straits with her eleven month old puppy, Sweetie).
Things went well at first, until Sweetie got too far into Molly's space and Molly reacted with a "back off" move. However, we enjoyed a delightful time for the rest of the afternoon with both dogs close on leash. Molly "sent" an email to Cathy and Paul to thank them for the visit.
Although this email is about Molly and her foster parents, it is also about celebrating the serendipitous moments in your life. Had we not opened our home and hearts to Molly, we would not have been graced with the chance to open our hearts to Cathy and Paul -- true American heroes. Indeed, I could turn this whole post into a reminder that Canadians and Americans are soul-filled cousins who share the same aims and the same goals -- including a testament to the Western spirit of compassion, empathy, caring, courage, and tolerance. And that is the stuff of heroes. But, I won't do that. Instead, here is Molly's (edited) message to them:
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This is Molly writing. (Well, to be absolutely truthful, it is Brenda writing what she thinks I'm thinking; and I'm thinking she's pretty close)
I really enjoyed my visit today and seeing you and Paul again. I recognized you instantly even though you thought maybe I didn't. You, Cathy, have a particular smell -- like a field of spring flowers after a soft rain. You, Paul, have a smell of the evening sunset on a wide open range. I will never forgot those smells.
You know, even though I was over the top happy, I feel a little badly for today. I wasn't as attentive as I might have been with you after all you went through to save me. You see, when I smelled your special smells, I was worried that my time in Toronto with my Jim was like a summer vacation and now I was being returned. Did you ever go on a summer vacation where you hoped it didn't end? Sure, you loved your home and your parents, but you had so much fun and freedom on the vacation that you wished life would be like that forever? That's what my life with Jim has become -- a forever summer vacation. I don't have to share him with any other dog, and that is important to me. I am the centre of his world. When you are at home, and not on summer vacation, you have to share your parents with your brothers and sisters. When you are on summer vacation, it is all about you and it feels like forever.
I was worried today that "forever" in human speak didn't quite mean "for the rest of your days" in dog speak. I was anxious that you would make Jim go away and not take me -- perhaps you'd tell him to leave quietly through that white house and I would never see him again! That kept me on guard the whole time I was there! You cannot believe how exhausting that was for me; indeed, I slept the whole way home -- a fact that Brenda marvelled at since she and Jim travelled through what she says were "positive walls of rain" for two hours. Brenda calls it "white knuckling" it home. But we got here safe.
And I now know I should have trusted you -- forever is forever!
As for Sweetie, perhaps it didn't go as well as you hoped between us. However, I hope that you realize that Sweetie is now yours and not mine; she always needed to learn how to separate from me so she could bond with people who would really take care of her -- people like you. I think you might not understand that my backing her off today was not being aggressive to her -- it was telling her in dogspeak "you gotta make your own way now, Sweetie. You are grown; you have a good family; you have to leave the nest" I may have hurt her feelings but -- to borrow another human term -- tough love is sometimes the only things that works. Brenda understands -- she told her son to "leave the nest" and he is doing so well now on his own. It hurt her when she had to force him to use his wings but now she delights in how high he can soar. I gave Sweetie her roots; you are now giving her wings. And, as her Mom, I am ever so grateful. Had she regressed in months back to the time where she cowered under me, we both might have lost our forever chances that we have now. I couldn't let that happen. Please don't think ill of me; sometimes you have to do things for your children that feel oh so tough at the time but they end up being the right thing at the right time. Sweetie deserves forever and it is not with me, it is with you.
I eavesdrop on Jim and Brenda's conversations (shhhh, don't tell them!). They spoke for a long time in the car ride back to forever about how much they enjoyed today and how very glad they were to make the trip. They said they were sure we would all be very fast friends if we lived closer together. Of course, they are right. I knew you before they did and I coulda told them that!!
So, on behalf of Jim and Brenda (and please don't be mistaken -- this is not me taking the alpha role in the family, this is just me speaking from the heart), and most especially on behalf of me, thank you for today. For a long long while I never knew what trust was. I wasn't sure if I could trust anything or anyone, cause sometimes things could turn out very badly -- even in a field of spring flowers or while watching a sunset. I just wasn't raised in a place of trust. But, thanks to you, I know trust. I know that spring flowers smell beautiful always and are the softest treasures in the world. I know that sunsets will always bring joy and awe.
More importantly, thanks to you I know that "having a second chance" is another way of saying "forever".
Thank you for forever.
Molly
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